The award for Festive Greeting of the Year must surely go to His Rotundness, the leader of that earthly paradise, the Democratic People's Republic of North Korea.
Freshly scrubbed, coiffured, and newly flossed after what was, clearly, a night of riotous wassailing and general merriment, his address to the nation included the following stern warning:
“The entire United States is within range of our nuclear weapons, a nuclear button is always on my desk. This is reality, not a threat."
This from a man who was obviously short-changed in the gift department this Yuletide and wants everyone to know it. I'll take a guess here by suggesting that instead of the i-phone 10 he was promised, he actually ended up with a pair of socks, a scented candle and a Dennis Rodman 2018 wall calendar.
Oh, well, never mind, chuck. Better luck next Christmas.
If there is a next Christmas and we haven't all been incinerated in a nuclear fireball.
Which made me wonder about that button he was bragging about and whether his Arch-Nemesis, the Trumpster has one too. The rumour is that he has. According to TIME (April 27th, 2017 edition), he uses it to summon his butler to bring him a Coca Cola. Now, what if he had another one next to it?
I got to thinking that maybe the respective buttons for Kim and The Donald would look like this:
Kim Jong-un Button Trump Button
Happy New Year...!
Oh, f'r crying out loud, no sooner had I pressed 'Publish' when The Orange One decided he had to get in on the act, too, sending out a tweet this morning that said his button was even bigger than Kim's. Instead of POTUS or POSTULE, maybe we should start calling him POSTURE.
Swear to God, it's like watching Tweedledum having a spat with Tweedledee.
So how's about this instead? Given that both of 'em look as if they've been hogging all the pies, they could have one each.